Re: JUST WANT TO share my sad feeling
Hm...
I know one guy from the net who is my donssen not long ago , we always chat on line , email and sms to each other over the mobile. We met up finally and he told me that he miss nuna a lot , midnight he took a taxi to my place , we drink and chat... then both of us so nervous. Don't know why nuna and donsen relationship , why we have to be nervour to meet each ohter . He came to my place, we start drink, chat and hold hand and even have " affair". He told me that it was his first time and he won't forget the moment he has with me. everything seem alright , we msg each other more since miss each other more.
After few days ago , he did come to my place again, he miss me a lot . He hug me and kiss me.. everything s4eem like couple .. but we never mention we are couple relaitonship just donsen and nuna . We did tell each ohter " saranghae" . Hm... after that night .... i sense something going wrong , he didn't msg me , call me or pick up my call .... he seem like missing in action. At first i feel sad, coz i think he is play boy .
Finally , he did email me that he told me that he did have great time with me , he like me very much but it doens't seem right and he told me that it was his first time and he feel guilty for his god , he is chrsitian and his religious belief forbidden him to see me . He told me that we have to be nuna and donsen relationship. He told me that he like me more than nuna relationship but he cna't help , he really can't love me as his yuja cingu . I cried like crazy about 3 day and 3 night , hoenstly i'm 27 year old and i also have dating experience . this is never i have before .
I just cant' understand why each ohter like each ohter can't love and just bec oz of sex affair ". he can't continue . he have to treat me as his nuna , he wnat the relationship with me forever , so have to be nuna and donsen . He told me that soon or later he will go to oversea to further hsi study . he told me that he will never leave me .
He wants to see me whether i 'm alright or not, i met him agina . in subway station . he only talk to me only 15 min .. it make me feel sad... how can he so cruel to me/ i spend 1hour subway journey to his place. he told me that he just cna talk to me 15 min . he going out to meet his friend . i ask him why we cna't love each other .. instaead of nuna and donsen relationship . he finally told me that bc of sex..issue/ I really don understand why . he keep tell ing he got sin ... how about me . He let nuna sad is not sin...... i relaly piss off and walked off .. i feel sad, he even not stop me or call me when i walked off cried like crazy . i stay whole night outside coz i feel sad nad drunk. he just tell me that he cna't meet me anymore coz i cna't treat hima s donsen ..... how depressed i am /..... i cried.
At the same moment i break up with my bf who is study oversea. i have been with him for few year . he is 7 year younger than me..... he did betray me by flirting around . i found out when i went there to visit him and give him surprise. he is with anohter girl and we have same date of brithday . i still remember that night i wiat for his call to say happy birthdya to me , but he didn't he got drunk and celebrate his birthday with his friend and that girl . i really loved him and but i think i have to let him go .. i dont like triangle realtionship . i also did tell him we need time to cool down and i found htat i lose confidence on him since we are awlays far apart. after day my love for him is giving leser and lesser and i with him bc of responisbility coz i ahve been with him for few year... so ,,,
During this time i met up the guy is my donsen ..... ..
At this time i tell myself i should wake up , coz i feel like i have to love myself more . Few day ago i still wondering the donsen i just met up is fool me around.. or telling me the truth . But it is not important anymore , coz no matter is true or reall is over. It take me time to cure my heart . I'm not bitch and i not flrit around to have someone accompny me. i broke up with my bf who is study oversea and i deicede to forget that donsen . i'm trying to live alone without any support . i try to be more independet since my family is not around , i working abraod here so i have to be strong.
Hoenstly my relationship is really bad luck one ., i'm also found out what the reason why i everytime i fail . first thing , i trust ppl easily and kidn of naive . i will very easy to ut 100% my love to soemone i like very much at the beginning,
I don have someone i can miss or love , except my fmaily . I feel like how cna i be mroe mature .... sigh ....
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