Jusunlee.com Forums - Friend has problems.

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Posted by TorrentialVVind on 11-17-2003 02:36 PM:

Friend has problems.

I have a friend, from Japan. Who, when I was around 5 years old, I used to go to his house and play video games and stuff.

His mom died around a month ago... and he called me up the other day and told me that he was going to kill himself. He’s now in Florida, and I haven’t seen him in 5 years… or something like that. I thought he did, but I found out soon that he didn’t. And I know he has A LOT on his mind. I just don’t know how to help him cope with the situations of today and tomorrow. I feel like a failure as a friend- and considering he’s my best friend, it makes me feel worse that he was there for me, and I can’t do this on my own.

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Posted by AZN Pinoy BOI on 11-18-2003 02:12 AM:

mmm... maybe u should tell ur parents about it? i really don't know, it's hard stopping a suicide that has miles between u

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Posted by PsychoSnowman on 11-18-2003 05:28 AM:

if he has asian parents, and if they are like a lot of jsl/asian parents, i am not sure what good telling your parents would do.

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Posted by rhymester* on 11-18-2003 07:44 AM:

hum talk to him? like online or something?

go check up on the net, im sure there are lots of advice for people who are suicidal.

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Posted by kryogenix on 11-18-2003 11:49 AM:

but isn't it bad to talk about suicide to a suicidal person? like it makes them want to do it more? i don't know what to do, but hopefully he's just joking around, looking for attention

Posted by TorrentialVVind on 11-18-2003 01:30 PM:

quote:
but isn't it bad to talk about suicide to a suicidal person? like it makes them want to do it more? i don't know what to do, but hopefully he's just joking around, looking for attention

I don't think he's joking around. He's been through a lot, and I doubt he would be 'looking for attention' if he told ME. We keep in touch a lot, so..

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Posted by PsychoSnowman on 11-18-2003 08:49 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by kryogenix
but isn't it bad to talk about suicide to a suicidal person? like it makes them want to do it more? i don't know what to do, but hopefully he's just joking around, looking for attention

I would think it would be more helpful to address the issue rather than to not talk about it at all costs. You know you cannot refer to suicidal people as one entity and pretend like they behave a certain way ("it makes them want to do it more"). People behave differently.

Posted by kryogenix on 11-18-2003 09:11 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by TorrentialVVind
I don't think he's joking around. He's been through a lot, and I doubt he would be 'looking for attention' if he told ME. We keep in touch a lot, so..

how do you talk to him? phone? irc? aim? snail mail... etc?

Posted by Alchemist on 11-23-2003 02:12 AM:

Try telling the police or psychologists.

Posted by Alchemist on 12-10-2003 03:27 AM:

What's going on? Is he alright?

Posted by Ladi Jay on 12-11-2003 11:49 PM:

I have a friend who use to consider suicide because a lot of things happened in his life... I avoided the problem whenever I talked to him and I tried to make him happy. Joked with him, took him out, and tried to cheer him up whenever I could... Every day now, he tells me he's really happy I was around to help.

Posted by TorrentialVVind on 12-12-2003 02:02 PM:

Yea.. Maybe I'll talk to him about happy things.. Keep his mind off things and stuff. Thanks.

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Posted by YaaMaKoh on 12-22-2003 06:07 PM:

just comfort him, when he needs a friend, needs you listen and talk. sometimes in suicidal discussions.. its better to listen rather then talking back. i friend of mine commited suicide but lived... and i kinda ignored the things she was telling me... just manuvered around it when talking.. but that gives them the impression that u dont really care and just dont understand. im thankful till this day, and never would i make the same mistake agian. never avoid it, doesn't matter if you dont know what to say, what to do, as long as you listen, and be there for a friend, as a friend.. to comfort.

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Posted by Alchemist on 12-23-2003 04:36 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by YaaMaKoh
i friend of mine commited suicide but lived...

You mean she attempted suicide?

Tell the police or someone who will help. If you don't know how to help find someone who can.

Posted by Alchemist on 12-23-2003 04:36 AM:

Or you can ask people who would know how to deal with this, police and psychologists may be able to help you. Also you could talk to parents but if they don't seem to take you seriously then go to someone else.

Posted by kryogenix on 12-23-2003 02:30 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by TorrentialVVind
Yea.. Maybe I'll talk to him about happy things.. Keep his mind off things and stuff. Thanks.

keep him away from drugs

quote:
Originally posted by Alchemist
You mean she attempted suicide?

don't assume it's a she lol

Posted by ajy on 12-23-2003 04:28 PM:

let him do it, suicide's cool

Posted by YaaMaKoh on 12-26-2003 03:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by ajy
let him do it, suicide's cool

id love to see you say that to your best friend, ya know, convince him and shit like that, see what happens

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Posted by PsychoSnowman on 12-26-2003 10:23 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by YaaMaKoh
id love to see you say that to your best friend, ya know, convince him and shit like that, see what happens

i am sure he is aware of what could happen.

Posted by merdawg on 12-27-2003 05:54 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by YaaMaKoh
just comfort him, when he needs a friend, needs you listen and talk. sometimes in suicidal discussions.. its better to listen rather then talking back. i friend of mine commited suicide but lived... and i kinda ignored the things she was telling me... just manuvered around it when talking.. but that gives them the impression that u dont really care and just dont understand. im thankful till this day, and never would i make the same mistake agian. never avoid it, doesn't matter if you dont know what to say, what to do, as long as you listen, and be there for a friend, as a friend.. to comfort.

have u guys seen Bowling for Columbine? well, i thought it was really good, and Marilyn Manson was in it, and my perspective on him changed wen he answered this one question.

Michael Moore, was interviewing Manson about how everyone was blaming him and his music as the driving force to the things that they did. and Moore asked, "if those two kids were here today, what would u say to them?"

manson replied, "nothing, i would LISTEN to them because apparently no one would listen to anything that they had to say"

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"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. " - Bruce Lee

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