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what do you learn from watching porn?

ok.. this is a joke my cousin gave me...understand..these opinions are not from me!!!! i found these to be pretty hilarious.. due to its language it shouldn't be in the joke's section of the forum...

What I've Learned From Watching Porn
Rated R
1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream
with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in
the background.
12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't
disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,
the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your
cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by
giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll
only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind
her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers
and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly
on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

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Re: what do you learn from watching porn?

quote:

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Originally posted by Nojeel
ok.. this is a joke my cousin gave me...understand..these opinions are not from me!!!!

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__________________
the fool is the one who thinks he is wise, yet the wise one is the one who thinks he is a fool

Remember the heros
Remember the lives
Remember the day
God bless

i wrote that on purpose..due these jokes.. people on this forum probably would think im a perv or something..hahaha..and it's the truth by the way.. it is from my 32 year old cousin..

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lol, thats pretty funny

AHahahaa those jokes are hella funny....and true (about porN)






















uhh....of course, i wouldn't know anything about this stuff tho XP

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ni pour ni contre; ça m'est égal

"The weight of this sad time we must obey,/ Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say./ The oldest hath borne most; we that are young/ Shall never see so much, nor live so long."
King Lear (V.3.300-304)

you sure about that victor??

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of course he's sure, he's the porno expert

:omg: i have nothing to say... except.... porn is fucked up.... (lmao... pun intended)

oh wait... this face too is that the scared face? scared that.. nojeel's 32 year old cousin would give a list of... that to him..

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I hate google cache.

quote:

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Originally posted by MellowYellow
:omg: i have nothing to say... except.... porn is fucked up.... (lmao... pun intended)

oh wait... this face too is that the scared face? scared that.. nojeel's 32 year old cousin would give a list of... that to him..

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.yes.

Just jokes. Maybe someone has been watching alittle too much porn. xD jk

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LOL u guys r so funny and those jokes...man, they're funny :P