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jealousy...vs friendship..

....I've been thinking a lot...and well, I've kind of concluded from my own experiences...that jealousy tends to ruin the friendship or is a problem in all friendships...why is that? but my situation was...I have a close friend...a real close friend...and I don't want to lose her ever...no matter what~ if I do lose this friend we both wouldn't be able to survive...but, lately...other people notices that we spend too much time with each other..is that problem or something? I've only known her for...about 5 months now...and I had a big fight over jealousy with another friend..and I kind of lost touch with the friend before her and I don't want to lose this friend like I did... just thinking about this makes my eyes water...but the friend who introduced me to her also said it bothered her before, but it doesn't now...everyone all seems to be uncomfortable when we are together...b/c they think that too tight of a friend is a little uncomfortable...what do you think? need some advice~ and I feel akward with people that said it..and I really can't talk to my friend unless no one sees me...

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www.xanga.com/basoonee012 cHecK oUt My woRld of cAlLed lIfE...WARNING: yOu miGht bEcOme UhrIbuHrI fRoM thiS sItE~!!! = ( ^ _ ^ ) = flY aWAy wIth mY wINgs~ KiM JaE wOn 4raNg hAe~

I've had this happen to me before....this is where you will find out who your real friends are....

sure...friends do get jealous...that is human nature but it is how they deal with their jealousy that will let you know who are your true friends.

are people talking because you have spent too much time with the other person and have completely ignored your other friends?

or are people talking because they think this friendship is so sudden???

the best thing is to talk to the people who are harboring jealous feelings and asking them to tell you what is it about your friendship with this person that is bothering them so much. by knowing the reasons, you can then formulate a plan of action.

it's hard to give a definite answer to a question like this because everyone is different...but just be direct and honest with ur friends and I think in the long run, it'll give you peace of mind.

from the way i see it, this problem can't be solved without you doing some talking. are you ignoring your other friends and only spending time with this friend? talk to this friend and your other friends and see if you guys can't work something out.

I don't ignore my other friends...and I did talk to the friend...but she told me it doesn't bother her anymore...but I still have that left over feeling b/c I knew once...ONCE that she has that feeling...and one friend pointed out that we act like we're going out or something..I was kind of shocked...I was laughing about it...THANK YOU for your advices....but....I guess it's been worked out now...hmm...but then why do I feel like I still have to hide to talk to her or I have to hide to see her?? but at one point I said, "I'm not letting anything get between us and nothing that will rip us apart." but at one point...she said something that kind of hit me hard.."are you ashamed of me? to be my friend?"

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www.xanga.com/basoonee012 cHecK oUt My woRld of cAlLed lIfE...WARNING: yOu miGht bEcOme UhrIbuHrI fRoM thiS sItE~!!! = ( ^ _ ^ ) = flY aWAy wIth mY wINgs~ KiM JaE wOn 4raNg hAe~

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Originally posted by bUhrI_sAuCe47
why do I feel like I still have to hide to talk to her or I have to hide to see her?? but at one point I said, "I'm not letting anything get between us and nothing that will rip us apart." but at one point...she said something that kind of hit me hard.."are you ashamed of me? to be my friend?"

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I'm NOT ashamed of being friends with her...all I can say is now , "F... it~!" If they don't like us being friends...they have start to understand me and her more then~ I was NEVER ashamed of her anyway...why would I be? but I realize something else...everyone has to talk something about my friend...when she;s not here...EVEN my own bro...and he's always has been mean to her all the time...rude~ and I don't think I was ever rude to any of his friends..UNLESS they did something wrong to me~ but I always defend her while and when I'm with her ...it's very tiring...

__________________
www.xanga.com/basoonee012 cHecK oUt My woRld of cAlLed lIfE...WARNING: yOu miGht bEcOme UhrIbuHrI fRoM thiS sItE~!!! = ( ^ _ ^ ) = flY aWAy wIth mY wINgs~ KiM JaE wOn 4raNg hAe~

quote:

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Originally posted by bUhrI_sAuCe47
I'm NOT ashamed of being friends with her...all I can say is now , "F... it~!" If they don't like us being friends...they have start to understand me and her more then~ I was NEVER ashamed of her anyway...why would I be? but I realize something else...everyone has to talk something about my friend...when she;s not here...EVEN my own bro...and he's always has been mean to her all the time...rude~ and I don't think I was ever rude to any of his friends..UNLESS they did something wrong to me~ but I always defend her while and when I'm with her ...it's very tiring...

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