hey doode... don't feel like your the only one like that out there man... fact is most every christian has been through that stage in their walk... doubt and thinking about that kinda stuff is just the growth process... when you learn despite all that you worrie and thinking twice about God, he'll always be there... i had alot of trouble with that... i saw myself just another sinfull person, out of reach... i was doubting that i could ever reach heaven, i felt that i was the most sinful person out there... but i realized that no matter how i feel i could always go back to him... i learned that its not what we do to make it seem like we're christians, but the simple fact that we have to trust in him because the work is done for our salvation, we just have to accept it...
the problem of you feeling that retreat and church has done nothing for you is the basic fact that you've made yourself a groove of what to expect at retreats, you go up, pray, worship, and spiritual out pour on the last night, ect... well the fact is you've seen all this and its no longer exciting, or new, so it doesn't do anything anymore... well the fact is you have to break away from that, i had the same problem... i used to go through the routine of retreats and church like a robot... but then again i didn't read the bible then, or prayed very often... maybe its the same with you... you just have to make the step to read the word and meditate on it... thats what made all the difference in my walk... i kinda saw things in a new light... and i gave up alot of my bad habits and such ie. smoking... its helped me... but i still personally got alot of growing to do... i hope some of my insight has helped you out...
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Enter My Head!
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