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Jusunlee.com Forums > Interests > Jokes and Humor > Zen Quotes
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rhymester*
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Registered: Sep 2002
Location: Ikebukuro
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Zen Quotes

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just #$%^ off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

15. Don't squat with your spurs on.

17. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

18. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

19. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

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Old Post 09-18-2002 04:40 PM
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eddiee
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Registered: Aug 2002
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i seen som of these b4 in another post

niceee

^^

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Old Post 09-18-2002 09:12 PM
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Klumzy
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Registered: Jul 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 738
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Re: Zen Quotes

hahahhaha these are hilarious!!!

my favs

quote:
Originally posted by rhymester*

6. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

18. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.




hahahhaha

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Old Post 09-19-2002 06:21 PM
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DEmeant0r
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Registered: Aug 2002
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haha no.11 was the funniest

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Old Post 09-19-2002 07:54 PM
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rhymester*
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Registered: Sep 2002
Location: Ikebukuro
Posts: 2097
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Re: Zen Quotes

quote:
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.



haha these are my favs..esp the skydiving one!! hahaha!!

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Old Post 09-19-2002 09:26 PM
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Dekkai
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Registered: Aug 2002
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hahahahahahahahahaha


they're great!!!!

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Old Post 09-20-2002 05:06 AM
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