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quote:
Originally posted by Nojeel
so your saying that in this situation, misleading/lying to that individual is the best solution for them to not have their emotions hurted..hmm..we have all our own opinions, but to me..that's straight up lying. Personally if it was me..i would tell them the truth..that i am simply not interested. falsely telling them they are interested in someone else isn't really clever..either way..that individual will be hurt anyways..so mine as well tell the truth, that's my viewpoint though. if i were to say i had somebody else in mind..what message does it give to the person that is interested in me..all im doing is misleading that person even more, and yet..she could still have feelings for me. if your seriously not interested in her, tigerstyle..just tell her the truth..if you do..she'll lay off you..yes, most likely she will get hurt, but at least you told her the truth, its for her sake as well, but at least she will KNOW..saying that your infactuated by someone else isn't really gonna change her feelings.. she could say to herself that she can wait, or you'll eventually get over her, something like that..im just saying..in this situation..i think you should be honest with her
i'm glad your into the whole "let's be honest with one another" thing, but in this case it doesn't work out that way. no matter how much you sugar-coat the truth, it still hurts. why lie? it's an easier way to solve things with as little emotional damage possible. the recepient of the rejection can choose to cling onto his/her feelings about you regardless if you told him/her the truth or a lie, so how can you say the person might still have feelings for you in only the situation where you told that person a lie? while lies may come in many different shapes and forms, this certain type is being used to end the matter, not to elongate it by misleading the individual any further. using a lie in this case is not selfish, and by all means it is in consideration of the other person's feelings.
here's an example for you: your denied the right to be the class representative in a decision made by the teacher. the teacher can tell you two things, one being that she thought you were unfit to fill the role, or the other being that she simply had another student ask her before you did. which way of turning you down out of those two replies would make you feel worse? yeah, exactly my point.
face the facts: the truth hurts. unless your some sort of barney-lovin' power ranger who worships his own morals, then i'm sure turning down someone with a lie is a small guilt you would be more than willing to bear if it was the easiest and least painful way of getting the message through. you can do it your way Nojeel, and i can do it my way. but in the end, which rejected person would be in a better emotional state? i don't know about you, but i'm willing to bet my left nut that mine would be better off.
in the world of putting someone down easy, the ends really do justify the means.
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¢´ Face The Facts ¢´
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10-17-2002 04:13 AM
