i have to admit..i have a great deal of respect for you..it takes alot to open up and express your hurt feelings to complete strangers..but sometimes it works out for the best..sometimes us strangers can listen, comprehend and understand better than some of your close friends/family..but anyways..to me, its damn well obvious that you show alot of passion and love you have for music..pursue it. and may i add that its great to hear from a person of your stature (since you are a celebrity in korea) to act like a normal person..it feels so good that you act like yourself..and your real..most stars, like you said, are fake at times..they only show them the good things, hence on tv..never really know behind the curtain..how they really are..but, like that famous quote said *follow your heart*, its true..its so much better doing what you want to do...rather than doing something your forced to do..but good luck and hope to hear you sing again and see you performing on the stage..i'll pray for your success.
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