Do you want to talk dirty to your boyfriend, but don't how to start? Want to turn up the heat a notch in your bedroom, but are embarrassed to utter a few racy thoughts? Get advice on how to talk sexy without feeling silly from Barbara Keesling, Ph.D, author of The Good Girls' Guide to Bad Girls Sex.

Did you ever go to summer camp? One of my fondest memories is when the lights in our cabin would go out and a dozen 12-to-14-year-old girls would play Mad-Libs in the dark. Mad-Libs (a take-off on ad-libs) involved fill-in-the-blank stories that revolved around a theme that wasn't revealed until all of the blanks had been filled in.

It's time to play this ad-lib game again, but a much more adult version. This time the theme is S-E-X, and the blanks are going to be filled in with the words and phrases that you would use to describe your fantasies.

Bad Lib #1

Theme: A Letter to Your Lover

Here's a great way to introduce your new vocabulary to your lover (and warm up your "engine" at the same time). Just imagine how thrilled he'll be to find this letter waiting for him on his pillow!

Darling I've been thinking about you all day and about how much I love your (noun). I can't get it out of my head. I love the way it feels in my (noun). Just thinking about it there makes my (noun) (adjective). I wish you were here right now so that I could run my (noun) up and down your (noun). No one's (noun) has ever affected me the way yours does. The way you (verb) me with it makes me want to scream with delight. My (noun) is (verb)-ing just imagining you (verb)-ing me. Come and get me, Darling. My (noun) is your (noun).

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Theme: The "Bad" Dinner

This is definitely not a Bad-Lib for your first date! But you'll know when the time is right to use it ...

I love to eat (noun) because it's such a sensual food. The way it feels on my tongue reminds me of (verb)-ing you because it's so soft and smooth. I know they say that oysters are an aphrodisiac, but for me, (noun) really puts me in the mood. The combination of the texture, the smell and the taste excite my senses to such a degree that I get completely turned on. So much so that right now, as I sit here, I wish I could come over there, sit on your lap, and slip my (noun) down your (noun). I'd like to take this olive oil and drizzle it on your (noun) and then use my hand to (verb) you until you're close to (verb)-ing. Then I'd take the whipped cream from my cappuccino, smear it on my (noun), and hide you under the table while you (verb) it off me. And when neither of is could stand it any more, I'd let you take me right here on this banquette, and slide your olive-oiled (noun) into my (adjective), (adjective), (noun), until we both (verb) like we've never (verb-ed) before.

If you even get through half of that Bad-Lib before he's yelling for the check, I'll be amazed! Unless he's too mesmerized to move, of course. As with all of these verbal exercises, the key to using them successfully is making them your own, and using words and phrases that feel right for you. Remember, you're not imitating anyone or anything; be genuine as you can be. And obviously, don't say it if you don't mean it! If you don't intend to have sexual relations with someone, don't Bad-Lib them! That could only lead to much confusion, or worse. Although Bad-Libs are extremely playful, it isn't a game that you are playing, it's the real deal. Bad -Libs should only be used when you intend to carry through with what you are proposing.

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Bad-Lib #3

Theme: Bad in Bed

Here's how you can take a few glowing coals and fan them until they're a raging bonfire of desire, emotion, and physical passion. Talking sexy in bed is what separates the Bad Girls from the merely bold. And since this isn't The Good Girl's Guide to Bold Girl's Sex, I'm figuring you must want to be Bad.

I've been thinking about your hands on my (noun) all day. Can I put your hand there myself? Your fingers are so strong. I love how their slight roughness feels against the silkiness of my (noun). I'm getting (adjective). Can you feel it? (Verb) me again; just like you just did. Do you mind if I (verb) your (noun)? I'd really like to. Actually, I need to. Actually, if I don't, I may just go out of my mind. Give it to me. Give me your (adjective) (noun). Put it in my (noun). Do you like that? I like it. I like it a lot. In fact, I love it. You're getting so (adjective). Touch my (noun). Look what you're doing to me. I'm going to (verb) my (noun) so that you can (verb) me there. Just like that. Just like that. Give me more. I need more. Touch my (noun) while you (verb) me. Feel my (noun). It feels so good. Your (noun) feels so good. Your (noun) tastes so good. Does my (noun) taste good? Tell me how good it tastes. You're driving me crazy. I'm ready for your (noun). Can I have it? Can I have it now? Oh yes. Thank you. Thank you. My (noun) is on fire. If you touch it I might ... You're like a (noun) of (noun) inside me. I can't take much more. I'm close to (verb)-ing. (Verb) with me. I want to (verb) with you. It's close; it's so close. (Verb) me harder. Faster. Deeper. Harder.

Whew! Personally, I'm ready for a cigarette and I don't even smoke! Hot enough for you? BAD enough for you? If not, bump it up a notch or two. If it's a little too hot to handle, choose the phrases you like, use those, and then make up some of your own. This isn't a script to be memorized so much as a "blue" print for your own personal dialogue. You don't need me to put words in your mouth; you've become quite proficient at that on your own. And you are soundin' like one Bad package now, truly talking the Bad Girl talk.

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haha slick

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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hilarious reading dat stuff!!!

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quote:

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Originally posted by UnisMuiMui
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hilarious reading dat stuff!!!

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Funny!!!!!!! I agree

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