My limit...
My first marking period ended a little while ago.. and report cards came in. My father saw it, and he was disgusted at what he saw. The lowest grade on that report card was a 91, which was in precalc. He was so angry with me that he threatened to not pay for my college tuition. All I could do was just stand there and take the verbal abuse. I could see why he was mad, though. I am kind of a party girl, and I go out with my friends on weekends. I still take school seriously, and I don't get into any trouble. My father puts so much pressure on me to do well in school.. I get home around 5-6 staying after for clubs and community service. On top of that, because my parents are divorced, I get home and I have to make dinner for him and my brother.. Not always, but at least once a week.
Sometimes, I just feel so much pressure that I want to collapse.. give up. I have a feeling my father wants me to do well in high school- go to college, and get a good job in order to support him when he's older, and my brother. I feel like a tool built in order to pay for everything. I keep telling myself its not true.. but with all this pressure that he's putting on me, I keep doubting that its for my own sake and happiness. My father never noticed my limits. I've never really been good in math, but he keeps pushing me to that point. My limit. He doesn't see that I have limits. The limits where no matter how hard I try, I cannot break.. And the worst thing is, my father is the type of person that thinks he's always right, and blocks out everybody else's opinions and ideas. So I'll never get this message across to him.
I really don't know what I'm really asking for here.. Just some words of encourgement..? Thanks in advance.
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"There are two kinds of fights, Rukia, one kind is to defend yourself and others, while there is a fight to defend your own pride." -Bleach
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