Storie...(chapter 1)

hey everyone.....i just finished writing this story...its originally 25 pages long....so ill just post chapter 1....the rest later......well hope ya enjoy

Fade Away:



Chapter 1 : He


The clock reads 2:19.
Three……two…one. Beep.
I give a wide grin of satisfaction as the bell rings simultaneously. The short beep is quickly muffled then carried away into the shouts and footsteps of a mob consisting of somewhat one thousand people. I rush out of the classroom, letting out a sigh of relief.
Relief from AP Physics, and also a relief from Mr.Williams’ spit flying toward my face.
I roll my eyes, as frustration fills me to the top at the unmoving crowd in this hallway.

They need to learn how to crawl.

I think, as I push myself through the tightly packed school building, filled with odors of unlit cigarettes, sweat and a hint of a stink bomb that has lingered there since third period.
Around me I can hear the usual conversations of “so what are you doing this weekend?” or the complaints like “I have to write three essays tonight.”

My body weighs a thousand pounds, and I feel as if I haven’t gotten any sleep for a year. I forcibly give a faint grin at my friends who wave at me as they pass me by. I lost total control of myself, the way I move, the way I speak, I wonder how I manage to stay awake. Even as I rush to get to my bright yellow locker, my legs are totally not in contact with my brain, for my brain is asleep. It’s as if someone else gained total control over me, planning every move of my body, every breath and every word with a remote control.

I lean against my welcoming locker, not bothering to open it. I hear the usual “excuse me” and I kick my bag to the side, completely indifferent. Yes, they notice that I am not my normal crazy, hyperactive self.

Now, please leave me alone.
My face wrinkles in disappointment as two of my closest friends, Alexandra and Rae, approach me with a concerned look. “You alright?” asks Rae, knowing what happened last night. “yea..” I reply, showing my irregular white teeth to reassure her. Alex is high again, not on a drug or anything, but any substance she can possibly find. Today it happened to be a bottle of water. She tries to hide her extreme bliss, but it’s so noticeable, through the sounds of her internal laugh. She lives to make herself crazy.

Everyone seems to be happy… except me.

I can’t help but give Alex an evil eye as she says, mockingly, “see, you should have listened to me from the very beginning.”
“HA HA HA!” I laugh, sarcastically, making her feel uncomfortable. “Alex, shut your big mouth and leave me alone. I would really have to knock your eyeballs out if you don’t.”
I can see the hurt in her face although she mutters, “Bitch”, and I immediately regret it. I didn’t want to cause other people any trouble. Just me is enough. Bad mood doesn’t need to be spreading to friends like a plague.

It’s true. Alex has been wanting me to break up with him for the longest time, because she felt that what he did to me was wrong. She didn’t know much about my feelings toward him, for she didn’t believe in falling in love, and so she had no right to mock me.

My eyes move back and forth, frantically searching for the tall, lean guy with his CD player. Despite my efforts, he wasn’t visible anywhere. He’s hiding, I thought.

Again.

I watch the crowded hallway slowly empty, until I can hear my loud voice echo and ring in my ears. “I’m hungry” I grumble to Alex, trying to change the subject. Hyper as she can be, Alex has already forgotten what happened two seconds ago. “me too”, she responds, searching for something to complain about. The three of us walk into the library, which is only a few steps away from our location. The cool air conditioning blows in my face like a summer breeze. It attempts to calm me down, trying to control my emotions and not letting me control my own. The library is quieter than usual, and I wonder why, because it is usually filled with noise. It’s Friday. No one besides a few people with over due work stayed after. I feel isolated, like I do not belong with the rest of the people that is in here. The emptiness of the room suddenly makes my heart move, and I can feel the liquids overflowing my tiny eyes. Rae and Alex are caught up in a moment of hilarity from an inside joke, so I quickly step out and pace to the door.

I need fresh air.
I need an escape from this building, from this sentiment that is going to swallow me up.

It’s pouring outside, the heavy rain hitting the ground, making noises like thousand whips wrapping around a body, leaving deep, deep scars. But I feel relieved because I imagine it to be my wound and my blood washing away in the endless rain. My tears are now blended into the rain dripping from my wet hair. I close my eyes, and take a deep breath. It’s okay, I tell myself. Everything’s going to be fine. I turn to go back in, into the world of empty frustration, and I notice a person on the bench, all the way on the other side of the school.

It’s him.

There he was, with his hair dyed blonde, his dark roots visible through the fading colors. He is nodding to a tune on his headphone again, humming the words with his acoustic guitar laying beside him. His eyes are closed, in the way that makes it seem as he is thinking, intensely, about the music, about the words, about every single beat and tune played in every single instrument. It’s as if he is drowning in his own world of music, unable to step out of it, and not letting anyone in.

I stare at him in silence. Although I want to call his name. Although I want to shout “Adam” and tell him how much I love him. Although I want to fall in to his arms and tell him not to leave me. I remain silent. I open my mouth to speak, but my mind keeps the sound from coming out. My heart is yearning to walk up to him and speak my thoughts, but my body remains stiff and lifeless.

The rain has stopped, but I don’t think he noticed the difference. I squint, as sunbeams come down on my wet face. It blinds me, blinds me so much that I can’t see him. I resent it so much, so much for taking away my only chance of being around him.

These thoughts quickly vanish as I hear my name called from behind. “Eva!” calls my two lovely friends. “ My gosh! You are soaking wet! What the hell are you doing out here?” I quickly lead them back in to the school building, making sure they don’t see him. “uh…. I was just being psycho again.” I reply, casually. As if nothing happened. As if it were all a dream.

Together we walk to the main entrance, where we impatiently wait for our late buses to arrive. I take a glimpse at my watch, and see that we still have 20 more minutes of this boring hell. I continue to act normal, giggling and making derisive remarks at the stupid jokes we make. But inside I am so confused, not knowing what to do. The thought of him still loiters in my head, and my heart aches from it. I feel like I’m going to die from it, as if I’m being shredded in to a million pieces, with my thick, red blood splattering ubiquitously, painting the sky with red polka dots.

There’s no one to intrude these thoughts, so I tell myself.
It’s all right.
Don’t cry…

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continued from chapter 1....

Chapter two: She

So there she is.
Standing in the rain. Staring up in to the gray sky as she melts away in the endless downpour. I quickly grab my headphones. I don’t think she sees me. Good. Now I can watch her, at least from a distance. That was something I was longing to do, all day. Her damp black hair drips not rain, but tears. The tears visible through her expression, her way of standing. It’s something that I can only tell, just by looking at her silhouette from far away.

She turns and looks at me.

I quickly turn away, as if I never knew she was there. I focus on the music, the deafening sound that turns into a mixed muffle of words and melody. I try to pick out the words, and find no meaning in them. Guilt lingers in my throat, keeping me from calling her name. Telling her that I still love her. That she means more than everything to me, although I turned my back on her. Part of me wants her to come over to me. I can imagine her body shift, and I can hear her footsteps splashing the puddles of rain on the cement. She would look in my eyes and seduce me, so I would be forced to tell my emotions.

I want to be seduced.

All this pain I have to hide with a smug grin, all the love I wish to show, but restrained from showing her.

But she walks away, with her two friends following her like a bodyguard. They pretend to know her pain. But they certainly don’t know mine. It hurts to see myself all alone, not having anyone to understand the truth dwelling at the bottom of my heart.

The rain has stopped, and the sun laughs at me, contemptuously. Like her friends who look at me like a piece of dirt, saying to themselves, “Jerk”.

She leans against the main entrance door and takes out her writing journal. The thing that she treasures the most. Her writings. She takes her a quick glance at me, and then shares a forcible laugh with Rae. I didn’t see her, but I can feel her eyes on me, surveying every inch of my body.
Undressing me with her eyes.
Undressing every single disguise I have on to read my thoughts. I wish she did. But she failed to take off the very last mask, the one that seems too realistic to be a disguise.

What is she writing?

Probably one of her depressive poetry again. She’s good at that. Too good that it will make you think she’s suffering depression. She’s probably scribbling words of hate and resentment, resenting me for leaving her, after all the promises I made of always being there for her. She’s probably writing her thoughts, her pain, my faults, my cruelty.

I can see her shudder, from the coldness the rain left her, but more from the aloofness I’ve left behind to make her drift away from me. I know I didn’t succeed, and that’s what hurts me the most. She still loves me. Although I’ve done every possible thing to make her hate me, she’s forgiven all my sins. That’s what makes me guilty, because I know the scars I left her are permanent, not temporary. Well, in the end, it will all turn out fine.

You did it for the best Adam. I convince myself.

She’s nothing like any of the girls I met before. She’s deep, yet so happy. She has plenty of her own problems, but she always put mine as priority. Although she was horrified at what happened to her, she still whispered comforting words into my ear as she tightly held my hand.

But I pushed her away.

She was everything a girl can be. Though she was so extremely flawed, she was perfect. She was way too good for me, and I did not deserve her.

I certainly did not deserve anything she did for me, even her smile which gave me strength and a reason to go on. She was too sweet to be dealing with my deep sadness when she, at her own world was suffering bad experiences of her own. She once told me about her house violence as she fell into my arms and cried. She didn’t tell me why or how. She just wanted me to hold her, just there in the empty school hallway.
That’s all. She wanted nothing more from me. It was upsetting how she can do so much to make my pain go away while all I can do was give her a hug. She once told me of how much the simple hug means to her, but I was too self-conscious to listen.

I just blamed her for not sharing any of her problems and excluding me from her life. She told me she wasn’t. She just had a different way of dealing with it. She told me that no matter where I was or what I did, she would be grateful for just being there for her.

That was simply her.

She had this thing in her that drew you closer every time you look into her eyes. She was the first person I really loved, that I felt I can tell her everything. I trusted her, and telling her my problems immediately made me feel better. She was the first person I cared more about speaking to, rather than making out with. For us, it wasn’t just physical love, it was every possible emotions mingled together, impossible to tell which one. It was the first one I couldn’t describe with words and the first I didn’t want to substitute with the word “love” because it was so special.

I completely blew it away, making all the comments, using her and ignoring her. I was the worst boyfriend possible, and she forgave me every single time. I can still see the flooding joy on her face as she nodded to my question “will you be my girlfriend?”
I hate myself to death, for hurting such a sweet thing that doesn’t deserve to be hurt. But I know it’s for the best.

It’s better for both of us, her and me.

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haha..i bet none of u will read this cuz its so long..hehe by the way, i wrote up to chapter 12....more to come....

Chapter 3: Time.

It hurts.

The more I try not to think about it, the more I remember his words.
“it’s better for both of us”…. It’s not. It really is not…

Adam was my first love. Yes, I have dated other people before, but it never felt the same. Adam was exceptional. He was the first boy I cared more about meaningful talk and hand holding, rather than sharing obligated, mandatory kisses. He was the first boy I opened up to share my painful life story, and didn’t regret it afterwards. He was the first boy I always wanted to be with, the first whom I never wanted to depart.

I steal a quick glance at him, risking an eye contact. It’s a relief but a disappointment that he’s not looking in this direction. I sigh, and take out my writing journal, my only companion when I am alone.

I open it to a page that was never completed.

Alex asks, “one of your suicidal moments again?” I remain unresponsive, and I just give out a weak laugh that means nothing to my curious friend.
Normally, I would be writing the most depressing, the most tragic poetry. It would be so sad, so tragic that it would make me look suicidal.

But today, despite my moods, I’m finishing his song.
The song I’ve been working on for months to give Adam as a gift. No special occasion. Just a gift.
I can imagine how big the smile on his face would be when my soft melody with the sweetest words surround and enwrap his ears. Too bad it’s over now. Too bad he isn’t here to listen to my heart sing him a song of love. Too bad I am not able to guard him, like the moonlight that provides a sense of security to the lost. Once again, a flood of emotions crash into my mind, sinking every little solution I’ve came up with to erase him out of my memory.

How can I live without him? How?

I wish I had an answer. I wish he would tell me. I wish he was here with me, telling me what to do.

He looks sad again. Just like the first day I met him. He always had a dark side, although not many people noticed it. He was always goofing around, pretending everything went perfectly in his life. Even when he was in the saddest parts of his life, he would never forget to laugh in front of others. Just like me. That’s how I know he is so lost, so confused, having no one to trust to share his conflicts with. Because that’s how I felt, and I always covered it up with my laughter. It took me years to open up to Alex and Rae and tell them what really goes on in my bizarre life. For Adam, it took a week. I found so much strength and warmth in Adam’s arms, that there was no need for words. His actions told me every single one of his feelings, all that he wants to tell me. As long as he was there beside me, I would feel secure, not having anything to worry about.
I slowly found myself, as if a puzzle of me is being solved, although it has been undone for many years because of the missing pieces.

I felt I was whole when people would say “Adam and Eva, how cute” It felt like he completed me, and fulfilled my imperfections. I was glad I opened up to him, and I was even more glad to have him open up to me.

But too bad it’s over now.

Just yesterday he was mine, my very own to seek a shelter from my tragic reality.
But now he’s gone. Gone to a totally different world, perhaps his own, where I am not allowed to coexist.
That’s what hurts me the most.

I wish he loved me, even if it is only a trillionth of the feeling I have for him. I wish I can still sense his sweet words that promised comfort and glee, that allowed me to feel what heaven would be like. To me, he was heaven, my only place of hope and inspiration.

I know. He’s been trying to get rid of me. For the longest time, he has done things to make me break up with him. He was too much of a coward to dump me, but he was brave enough to break me in half. He broke me in half and refused to take the broken pieces with him. He instead chose another whole.

Every time I saw him with her, I felt a part of me dying, until I was paralyzed and numb all over the place. But I still felt pain.
Although I forgave him every time. I wasn’t angry at him, and I don’t know why. But it still hurt to see him slowly drift away from my protection to a different adventure. No matter what I said or did to convince him that his love for her wasn’t real, his stubborn mind remained static.

He finally told me yesterday, the one word he told me, to describe her. He said it was a different kind of love, much different from the innocence we shared, but it was more passionate.

And he preferred the red.

So I let him go. Although I might die from it. If it’s for his happiness, I can take it. If only it can make the smile appear again, my suffering does not mean anything. There. Let’s leave it at that. Don’t think of me….Just him… Just him.
I glance up once more to see his gorgeous self glow in the afternoon sunshine. But he’s no longer there. He has vanished, like a sweet scent of perfume blowing away with a morning breeze. He’s probably never coming back, and I would only be able to see him when I close my eyes.

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Chapter Four: Infirmity

With three more steps to climb, I gasp for air, being out of breath. My front door is in sight, and with all my strength that I don’t have, I push myself to reach it.

Just a little more. You are almost there Adam.

My fragile fingers flooding with sweat slightly brush the tiny white button, now slightly yellow from the dirty hands that have touched it before.

Dizziness clouds over me, as I wait for the brown, polished door to swing open. It seems like decades have gone by, although I’ve been standing here less than a minute. My vision is blurred into blends of black, gray and white. I feel nauseous all over, and I can’t stop the endless cough originating from the pits of my inner self. In my small, confined field of vision, I can no longer see anything but darkness. Everything around me moves in slow motion, and I watch specks of my red blood coughed up and scatter across the floor like drops of rain falling from the sky.

Only that it’s thicker.

I guess I’m coughing up the guilt that has been clogging my throat for the whole day. The words I couldn’t tell her.

The door finally opens and I can hear my mom gasping. “ADAM!”

I close my eyes and fall in to a deep sleep, which promises no future.


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Chapter 5: Reality

My heart starts throbbing as I walk toward my tiny, rectangular, blue-painted house. The silver Toyota is parked in the driveway, at a slight angle adjacent to the house.

Why?

It’s only slightly past 4 o’clock and it’s way too early for his work to be finished.
I quickly pace to my front door, realizing that questioning myself will get me nowhere. With overflowing curiosity and anxiety, I turn the rusting doorknob. The scent of burnt Marlboro fill my nostrils, as clouds of white smoke escape through the half way open door. It has been desperately waiting for me to open the door, so that they can escape this horrifying reality and freely fly away. I can feel myself tremble as I nervously take a step towards the unlit kitchen. Upstairs I can hear an action movie being played, so loud that it seems like it will carry the house away. I wish I was deaf as I hear the infinite sounds of gunshots.

I close my eyes in disgust.

I can see the remains of broken glass carelessly strewn across the wooden floor. On the table lies not appealing vases of roses, but two empty bottles of vodka, and several cans of beer, some remaining untouched. A sudden blur blinds me momentarily, almost making me faint and fall to the hard, cold floor. But I manage to grasp the stairwells.
I regain control of myself, and I slowly take another step toward my bedroom door. Droplets of dried blood are visible on the light colored rug. It’s black, rather than red. It looks as almost dead as my soul and mind. My eyes quickly scan the area for any object that can be used as a weapon. On the left corner lies a distorted kitchen knife.

I know what happened.
I quickly hide it into a place not easily seen. Nervously and impatiently, I turn the knob of my bedroom door, part of it glued with white paper to cover a giant hole.
The last time this has happened, I promised myself that I will never let it happen again.

Never.

It was for the best. I think, as I stare down at the vulnerably bruised and bleeding face. I quietly grab the telephone and dial three digits. My breathing is too calm, as I speak the words into the receiver.

"My mom is injured. I need an ambulance and a police car for an arrest.”

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Chapter six: Truth

Open your eyes.

Voices in my head repeatedly order me. But I have no more strength left in me to move a muscle. A diminutive, sharp needle pierce me, and a bag of clear liquid slowly drips in and becomes a part of me. It leaves behind the most unpleasant feeling. But I can’t stop it, for I cannot function.

A quiet sobbing is heard, but it is soon interrupted by an unfamiliar, deep voice. “ He is currently in a coma. He’s physically unconscious and is unable to move. For now, we are unsure of when or if he will recover.” A desperate sigh is released through a woman’s mouth, as she yells hopelessly, “Please, I’ll do anything. Just please…..save him.”
The deep voiced man sounds frustrated as he responds coldly. “Well, as of now, there’s nothing we can do. He should’ve known better than to stay out in the rain when he is suffering Leukemia. What made him do such a thing?”

Good Question.

What made me do such a thing? What made me just sit there when I knew the consequences? Why did I want to leave this world so soon, when it will provide me nothing?

I deeply regret it.

I deeply regret it because I might never wake up. Because I might never see her again. Because I realized that if I leave this world without an explanation, I will hurt her. Again. She will always live with a deep scar that I have left her, without a possible remedy. Because for her, I was the only cure.

But it’s too late to think this way. I gave her enough reasons to be unhappy.

Three months ago, I found out that I had Leukemia. I was told that unless I get a bone marrow transplant, I had six more months of living. I was shocked, and I cried endless tears as I wondered how this could happen. Being an adopted child, I had almost no hope of finding a match. That meant I should just peacefully enjoy the time left for me. But I was afraid, too afraid to handle the fear on my own. I deeply needed someone, someone to comfort me and make my fears go away.

I wanted it to be her.

More than anything in this world, I wanted to spend the last minutes of my life with her. But I knew that once she finds out about it, it would hurt her more than it hurt me. It would be so much pain for her to see me leave this world, although I still love her. It would hurt her so much to see me go away into a world that she can’t reach.

I knew that with so many good memories, it would be hard for her to erase me. So I decided to be cold. For the past three months, I’ve done every possible thing to make her love drift away. I let myself commit the cruelest crime, because I thought it was for the best.

I’ve told her words of hate, and ignored her when she tried to explain her emotions. I let my lips lie to her and used her when she believed them. I was being the worst person possible, just to have her give up and leave me. But none of it worked. Every time I did something wrong, she forgave me. She pretended nothing happened and covered her wound with a smile. She did this for me. Because she knows that once she leaves me, I will never have someone to watch out for me when I fall.

But I had to leave her.

That was the last gift, the last thing I could do to make her happy. I finally told her yesterday that I loved another girl. She swallowed her tears as she smiled and walked away. Her last words were “Be happy”. Yes, for me, she would accept and give up anything. For my happiness, she would even sacrifice her own love, and her own life.

That’s what hurts me the most. She still loves me. Although she shouldn’t, she still loves me.

I know my actions are hurting both of us right now. But when I am unable to exist under the same skies with her, the bad memories will make me fade away faster from her life. So although it hurts me more to see her hurt, I know it’s for the best.

But why is there a bit of regret lingering in my heart?

Why do I wish that I’ve told her everything? Why do I wish I can see her one more time? Why do I wish she was here, holding my hand?….

Open your eyes. I tell myself.

Then maybe, you have a chance of turning back………
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okie....i have to edit chapter 10 so i wont be posting it for a while....mean while have fun reading...lol
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Chapter 7: Innocence

“What do you mean you need more evidence? Don’t you see her face? You saw the blood and the dirty kitchen floor at my house too. What more can there be?” I exclaim to the ugly faced officer. The hospital stinks of various illnesses blended together. I listen angrily as a bad breath flying toward me makes it worse.

“Well right now, he is denying that he beat her like that. Since you were not present at the time of beating, there’s not enough evidence. The only possible witness is your mother herself, but she’s unconscious right now so we would have to wait.”

“This isn’t the first time. I’ve seen him do it many times before. I am the witness. I will testify.” I yell, almost hopeless.

“Alright. I’ll try my best honey. Whether he admits it or not, there will be a trial anyway. You can testify there. If he’s done it before too, it’s most likely that the judgment will be taken against him, but it’s not definite. So I’ll try to get him to admit.”

“Okay. Thank you officer.” I reply, wishing this were all a dream.

I wish it was a dream.

The break up, the fight, the beating……… The reality… I wish myself didn’t exist and I wish I can disappear into a world where no such humans exist. I wish for death.

I turn around as I hear the black boot clash against the tiled floor. I am desperate to get this over with. I’m desperate to start a new life. I’m desperate for my cure, my mom’s cure, both inside and out. But God refuses to grant my only wish: Peace………….

A familiar face lies ahead of me. Who is it? I can’t quite recall in the midst of chaos. Surprisingly enough, the middle-aged woman walks up to me. I can see the trace of tears as she says with a concerned voice, “Are you here for Adam? How did you hear the news?” It finally hit me. It was Adam’s mother. Adam told me how he was always mean to her because she wasn’t his birth mother. Even though he loved her so much and was grateful to her. But what is she talking about? Why would Adam be here?

“Huh? Adam is here? Why? Is he sick or something?”

It seems like the end of the world as I see the woman’s lips move in slow motion. Telling me every hidden truth that I was too foolish to realize.

That’s why. That’s what made my innocent boy seem so evil.

I understand now. I feel so guilty, and so ignorant for not realizing it before. Yes, why else would he do so much to leave me? I am sorry Adam. I am so sorry. I am sorry for letting you go. I am so sorry for letting you leave me like that when you still love me. But Adam, I promise. I’ll never leave you.

Never.

I must get up. I think, as I hear my voice called on the loud speaker. “Eva Anderson, please come to room 703. Eva Anderson, please come to room 703”

Wondering how difficult my war would be this time, I rush myself to get to my next battlefield.
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Chapter eight: Wide asleep

Open your eyes………Open your eyes…open your eyes…openyoureyes.

You must. Adam, you must. You have to wake up. You have to tell her. You have to give her an explanation. That’s all. You can do it Adam. Just once more.

I command myself. But it’s difficult than it seems. Like before, I can’t see anything but darkness. That was my whole life. It always seemed dark. No matter how much I moved to find a dust of light, there was always an eternal shadow chasing me.

Except around her.

She was always glowing, and I always wished to be a part of her rays of warmth. So you must wake up Adam. You have to wake up and tell her. You have to open your eyes and tell her that you still love her. You have to let her know, or she will live the rest of her life thinking that your love has vanished.

Open your eyes.

Three… Two… one.

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Chapter 9: Apocalypse

I was right.

It was the end of the world, and an endless battlefield lay ahead of me. It seems I cannot conquer this war. It’s my destruction, because I am finally left alone like I always wished. A man dressed in a white gown speaks in “I-know-it-all” way, but he looks a little cautious so that I do not bite his head off. His words only destroy me more.

“She got hit on the back of her head. Her nerve system is almost completely destroyed. She has internal bleeding. She might live, but even if she does, she won’t be able to move or speak. She might not even recognize anyone.”

A sudden silence fills my ears and my body loses strength. I fall to the hard, dirty floor, but I can’t feel any physical pain. Everything seems to be rotating around me, but I don’t exactly know what.

I wish it were all a dream.

I wish I could start again, from the very beginning. I wish I can go back to the time when I wasn’t born. I wish I didn’t have t go through so much pain at sixteen. I wish I didn’t have to lose the two people who were always on my side.

A familiar intruder pauses my thoughts. “I’m sorry about your mother.” He says, and hands me a white envelope. He grins sadly and walks away. Inside the envelope lies a neatly folded white sheet of paper. What seem to be words are printed in black ink, with a sloppy signature at the bottom, now spread and illegible because of my pouring tears.

“To Eva Anderson.
You are to appear on court on July 17, 1999 as a witness for the case of……”

I wish this was a dream…………..

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haha i see that no one is reading this....no point...but since i already put the other chapters i have to post the ending...

Chapter ten: Hope

“Adam, it’s me. Can you recognize me? Can you hear me Adam?”

I just blink, as sudden light blinds me. You did it Adam. This is your last chance.
“Adam, can you talk?? Can you move? If you hear me then say something.” Impatience overcomes her fragile body as she exclaims excitedly. Slowly I recognize the face gazing down at me. The remains of despair eating away at her beauty are visible through her swollen eyes. In just one night, it has succeeded in wrinkling her silk skin and making her cheerful smile fade.

I manage to open my mouth and spit out two words: “hi mom” The words can’t be any more insignificant, but it brings so much hope to her watery eyes. The golden smile slowly finds its place on her lips and works to bring color to her pale, worn out cheeks. It brings an endless joy to my heart just to see her smile appear again.

“I love you Mom” I speak, trying to defeat the tightness in my throat. We share a cry of understanding, as we look at each other in mere silence. We both understand that it’s the first and the last time I will ever speak those words. Because although we both refuse to admit it, we know in our hearts that there is no more time allowed for us.

My voice is shaky as I speak these words. “Mom, could you grab me the telephone? I have to call Eva and…..” She is quick to respond as she recalls. “Oh, she was here a moment ago. I saw her out there by the ER. Hold on hun, I’ll go check if she is still here.” She slips out the white-painted door, with her thin, frail body. The door gives out a loud squeak that agitate the stillness of the room. I’m left with a bit of surprise from the fact that Eva is in this very building, but I suppress the utter curiosity and quietly await.

The footsteps are near and finally the door squeaks again. My heart pounds with excitement as I see the thin girl running to me with tears. Her dark brown hair shines at the glare of a luminous light.

Her first words were “I am sorry Adam”….. No Eva, I am sorry….I am sorry for all the things I’ve done to hurt you. “The reason why…”

She looks at me with her deep eyes, and there’s no more need for words. “ I know Adam, I know…. I know everything…I am so sorry ….I am so sorry for letting you go…”

It takes off thousand pounds of burden on my heart as she speaks those words….And I am truly grateful that she’s here. Holding my hand.

“But Eva, I want you to know, I loved you. I still do….No matter where I go, I will always love you. Remember that. Don’t give up, and always wait for me so we can meet again…I am so sorry for leaving you….but I must..”

“Adam, don’t go. Stay. How could you go? Will you Please..”

“Adam?……ADAM….”
I slowly close my eyes and smile. Her warm hands brush against my cheeks, leaving a heavenly feeling.

I’ll always be by your side Eva.

I promise silently, although I can never open my eyes again….
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 11: Sadistic Desires

My hands slowly tremble as I lift my swollen foot and step into the empty house. It’s July 17, 1999, 3 weeks past from Adam’s death, and eleven days from my mothers. And, unforgettably, it’s the trial date of my “dearest father”.

A bit of guilt plays around with my thoughts, making me think that he was still my father, no matter what he did. But I refuse to let this thought grow any bigger as I swallow away the lump in my throat. It was this very morning when I revealed every single truth, every single event that dwelled in my head as a promised secret.

Standing in the courtroom, I told every single detail as the judge gave a disgusted look as a human being. I told how he cut open her foot, how he poured boiling water on her, how he tortured her with words and how he tortured her with his fists…..how he……

I keep myself from recalling it any further. I tightly bite my lip and tell myself to move on.

Don’t think…it’ll only bring back scars.

He was sentenced seven years in prison. I feel that it wasn’t enough, that he deserved more. For ruining my life….For ruining hers….. The kitchen floor remains dirty and unsafe, from the very day the three of us abandoned this house nearly a month ago.
It’s okay. I tell myself.

Don’t cry…..

It’s nearly three o’clock, but the whole place just seems too dark, like a black whole hidden in the sparkling universe, pulling innocent stars down and drowning them in darkness. I carefully pick up the broken glass as I stand up to open the blinds. Rays of sunshine expectedly enter through the clear window and scatter across the floor.

I turn to go away, but an object catches my attention. A silver glare hides underneath the dusty blinds. With out a warning, my hands automatically reach for it, pointing it to my unprotected chest.

Yes. The knife. It was the knife I hid weeks ago to prevent violence from ever happening again. But a sudden temptation crashes in, telling me that just one more would be okay. That if there’s one more, I am guaranteed to never see it again….

Why not? There’s no more reason for me to go on anyway…no one would be here to mourn if I was gone…..After this there will be no more scars……

Promised..

I close my eyes and begin my journey to my loved ones up in heaven. It’s only my first step, but a faint smile of greed light my eyes….

I know I’ll never open them again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 12: Three years later…

“Eva, wake up” I feel the soft hands on my sweaty back as I awake.
“Huh?” I manage to yawn and squint, attempting to reply at the smiling faces looking down at me. “What time is it?” I take a glimpse at my bare wrist, noticing that I am not wearing my watch. “It’s 2:25” replies Alex. I give a chuckle. “ Oops…..hehe”
“Yea, you are lucky we came down here cuz evil Goldberg would’ve never woke you up. And you would be stuck in this stinky scary classroom FOREVER…Muahahahah”
“DunDunDun” Adds Rae, for more effect. “Haha…Alex, no wonder why you got voted as most dramatic senior…hehe” I reply with a big smile.

“Well, anyway, thanks for saving me from my sleep in this dreaded classroom…hehe”
Rae asks curiously, “What’s with you dozing off in class lately?”
“Are you having lots of FUN at night?” adds Alex, stressing on the word fun by making a quoting gesture with her hands.
“Haha…you have no idea what it’s like to suffer insomnia for 3 years…hehe” I manage a giggle. “Oh yea, what happened with that crazy psychologist of yours? Is she still all nasty after the sleeping pill incident?” I make a throwing up gesture to show my hatred with passion. “Yea, she thinks I attempted suicide although I tell her NO! Dude, I was only trying to SLEEP with my SLEEPING PILL cuz you know I have INSOMNIA?? It makes sense in my head….I dunno what goes in HER brain…”

I sigh, recalling the event.
Suicide? It would be a lie to say that I never thought about it, because I experienced so much hardship after all that has happened. But I knew that it was a foolish thing to do, because neither my mother or Adam would ever want me to do such a thing. I know once I do, I’ll end up regretting it. I had a whole future lying ahead of me anyway.

I glance at my two friends and walk arm in arm with them through the empty hallway. I thank god for sending me them, because I know I wouldn’t have made it without them. They are the ones that helped me to change the bad memories to good ones, always there holding my hand….

I recall the dream…… It was once a reality, the whole story. But three years later, today, the whole thing seems more unreal than a real dream. I stopped recalling it in real life…but it has become a daily part of my dream. But although our bodies are apart, I know that their love for me will never fade away.

And that’s enough reason for me to go on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The clock reads 2:19…..
Three…two…one.

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Wow that's a really good story. Keep writing more stories and poems! And don't get discouraged because it doesn't seem like anyone is reading this thread... no one comes in here anyway... atleast i don't think a lot of ppl do. Maybe your stories can attract the ppl here... heh heh~

oh btw could you please post all the chapters of a story in one thread? i think it's just easier to read that way.

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I hate google cache.

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yup yup....hehe i didnt know how before lol......

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